Just got off the phone with Cassandra from PNC in Flemington. I basically had an interview over the phone. She said a guy would be calling me to set up my 2nd interview! If I get this job, I'd be working 16-19 hours a week making $13.21 an hour. Holy shit. I need to get this job. I'm determined. I'd be working a set schedule of Monday 8:45am-1:00pm, Thursday 8:45-1:00, Friday 8:45-2, and Saturday 8:45-12:15 plus a few here and theres. The only day I can't work is Thursday because of my school schedule, but the woman said they could be flexible. I'm so psyched on this. I really hope that it works out. For the 2nd interview I need to bring a copy of my resume, dress professionally, and have lots of customer service examples. Writing a paper right now for my English class tomorrow. I have a lit. class in about an hour and a half, followed by work at Staples from 5:30-9:30. The shirt they gave me is a small, but it is fucking gigantic. Might need help sewing that. Dreading Staples, but it will have to do for now. Hopefully I can say bye to them soon. Gonna keep writing and get ready for school.

PNC Bank called me back for an interview for the Teller position. I'm playing phone tag with the woman who called, so hopefully she will get back to me and we can set something up. If I get the job, I am sure it will pay more than Staples. Also, it would look better on a resume in the future rather than more retail. We'll see what happens...I'd feel bad dissing Staples like that and totally bailing out--but you gotta do what you gotta do. Dog eat dog. I sent my dad a long e-mail detailing my academic transcript at RV and my future plans. I'm currently signed up for four summer classes, spread out over both sections of the summer. God damn. It is going to be time consuming and shitty, but I need to do it if I want to get out of there in the fall. Dog eat dog. I'm signed up for Contemporary Social Issues, Intro to Political Science, Intro to Psych, and American Government and Politics. Today I watched To Kill A Mockingbird by myself. My dad used to show it to my brothers and I when we were kids. It seems like everytime we were with him, we'd watch the movie. It wasn't until later that I read the book, or even understood the film. It remains one of my favorite books and, if not my favorite, film. Atticus Finch is a man to admire. Jean Louise. Jean Louise, stand up. Your father's passing.

I am now employed by Staples.

I didn't do much this weekend, but it feels like it lasted awhile. Basically just hung around Flemington with Bryan. Ate a lot of french toast, was unsuccessful at finding winter shoes, hung our heads out of my bedroom window, napped, shoplifted, made necklaces, watched Californication and Dexter, and got a call back from Staples, of all places. I have a job interview today at noon. Class from 1:30-3:00. I need to brush my teeth and maybe brush my hair. Am on a reading kick, finally. Had a long dream about Tracey Luscia this morning and I've never missed her more. My mirror from the abandoned farmhouse is broken and tiny pieces of glass litter my floor. I cut my toe on a piece last night and little bits keep scraping on my feet when I walk. I have felt so fucking lonely lately. Really reflective and just plain sad. While hanging my head out the window to my backyard, I couldn't help but see all the people there. People I knew intimately, people I knew for only a short period of time, people I hardly knew at all that were there anyway. I miss hanging out, having fun, staying up late, having parties, spending time with people. Talking. I miss talking. If you ever want to hang out, I'll be available. If you ever want to talk, I'll talk. I miss having friends. I miss my friends. I miss you and you and you and you and you and you and you and I could go on and on, but I'll stop now. I want to go away this summer, but it's proven to be difficult. Why does it have to be hard? Why can't I just go?

I love this boy.

Wild hearts, blue jeans, and white t-shirts.

new backpack!

new ears!